Do I Stay or Do I Go?

In Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, a wonderful young adult novel I taught for years, there’s a character named Mama that has to make a decision.  She is a black teacher in a black school in the 1930s, and the white people in charge are going to her classroom to observe her because they want to rattle her in the hopes of getting her fired.  She has been viewed as a maverick who does things differently. When the administrators go to her classroom she is in the middle of teaching about slavery, a taboo subject not in the textbooks; she is going against what she is expected and allowed to teach.  She has to decide what to do when they come in. 

I freeze frame that moment in my classroom and ask students to consider what her options are.  Could she change the topic on a moment’s notice? When students think it’s not possible to change topic midstream, I show them how I could suddenly start teaching ‘helping verbs’: “Is are was were am be been,” I say.  “Class repeat after me: Is are was were am be been…” I show my students that she could have changed her lesson in a second.  But what message would she have taught her students? That she doesn’t believe in teaching authentically and sharing an important truth?  By standing her ground and continuing to teach about slavery, she is maintaining her dignity and standing by what she believes in.

So Mama is fired.  She probably would have been fired regardless of what she taught.  But another way of looking at Mama’s situation is to think about whether her students would have been better off if she found a way to change the subject and then she might have remained in the classroom and continued to be an amazing teacher to her students.  Her own family, which was poor, would have continued to have her income.  Her students lost a wonderful teacher and role model.

I have thought about this in relation to a dilemma I have now.  One of my part-time jobs since I’ve retired from teaching middle school is working in a pre-K. The pros of this job are that it is literally a block away (perfect for winter travel) and it pays better than most pre-K jobs because I am considered a program director. I have, for the most part, really enjoyed the kids.  We take walks in the neighborhood, we read fun books, and it’s my chance to feel, every now and then, a bit like Mary Poppins. I really enjoy the age group.

Here’s the down side.  It is so poorly run and getting worse.  I can’t go into all the details, but on many levels it is floundering, and it does not serve the best interest of the kids.  Many of the kids come from impoverished families and some live in shelters. They need so much more than they are getting – in school and out. The people who run the center are sort of my neighbors so I can’t really “tell” on them.  So I could quit.  But quitting isn’t changing anything there. Staying makes me feel frustrated and that I’m not doing enough to change things. But I do believe that I am making a small difference in the kids’ lives (I don’t mean to compare myself to Mama in Roll of Thunder).

What do you do when you want to make a negative situation better but it’s out of your control? Do you stay or do you go?