Too Early for Wine and Chocolate: Just some Meandering Thoughts
My daughter showed me a meme on Instagram that read: “After this quarantine, will the producers of ‘My 600 Pound Life’ find me, do I call them, or how will this work?”
It is too early for wine, and too early for chocolate. And I already ate a piece of the banana bread and pumpkin bread we made over the last few days.
I am feeling listless and yes, sad again. Maybe it’s an every other day situation I’m finding myself in. Today it feels physical, like I’m physically depleted. I already took a longer than usual walk which usually perks me up, but it appears like I am not getting out of this funk too easily.
I have returned to my favorite workspace in the house – this island in the kitchen that usually feels open and bright. Today’s grayness outside has permeated my indoor space. Why am I so ruled by the weather?
Today I am thinking about Terrence McNally who died yesterday. He created the musical Ragtime, which was a part of our lives a bunch of years ago. I saw it on Broadway and then the high school did a modified version, and then my daughter’s friend starred in another local version of it. Those songs were a hit in my house. I also saw and loved McNally’s play Mothers and Sons. I saw it twice on Broadway, because after I saw it with my husband, I had to take my daughter, who had just returned from being abroad. It was an amazing, multi-layered play, and one I might like to read and return to.
The forecast for tomorrow calls for sun. I promise to be more upbeat.
Heidi, I succumbed to wine tonight. 3 glasses in and my chest pains from all day are gone. I've convinced myself I had the Corona virus and that my husband would get it and we would need respirators and what would happen to my children.....turns out wine made my chest pains go away and now I seem to be, luckily, symptom free. I ate a ridiculous amount of cookies and tonight am in a downward spiral. Tomorrow, with the sunshine, I will shake off these destructive actions. Tonight, I needed cookies and wine.
ReplyDeleteAs long as we don't let the sad days string together we will be OK. I think the weather has a lot to do with how I feel physically and mentally. Take care.
ReplyDeleteYour slice so neatly encapsulates the many feelings in one day of these unprecedented times: The humor that can help us cope, the funk that always hovers close, some combinations of hope and fear about what might come next, the many memories that the present now refracts differently. Hang in there.
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