Dollhouses or Video Games? Nature or Nurture?
So lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how we raise our little boys and little girls, probably more so because I had two girls and my daughter has a boy with another boy on the way. Since my grandson was born, it was important to his parents that he be viewed as a boy, so early on there’s the blue clothes, and with it, the dinosaurs and the trucks. Girls are often photographed in their early birth pictures with bows around their head, usually pinkish bows.
My friend’s precious granddaughter celebrated her 2-year-old birthday with a wildflower themed party. Wow. I love wildflowers and would love a wildflower themed birthday party. Do I love wildflowers because I’m a girl? Is this out of the question for a boy? The answer seems obvious.
I gave my grandson a large yellow bus with lots of little people who can board it if he chooses to put them in. My daughter views this as a boy toy. What’s masculine about a yellow bus, I ask you?
I think back to the days I was a young mother. I remember purposely choosing both times not to know the sex of the baby. So I picked out a boy and a girl layette ahead of time (You called the store with the sex of the baby when you gave birth.) Two different layettes for two different sexes. I tried to keep them both with yellows, blues, greens, and yes pinks. It seemed odd to me then that certain colors were for one sex and certain colors for the other. What does it say about our expectations for them?
My doctor, who I saw the other day, has 5 grandchildren, 4 boys and one girl, and he mentioned how the boys are close and play video games together. Not the girl. He said the girl is treated like a princess. I’m guessing she has the requisite dollhouse and plays with teacups in her Little Tikes kitchen.
I am not putting down dollhouses or video games, just noting that it’s surprising how we still steer kids in a particular direction. The blue vs pink in those early days is very much alive and well.
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This is something I think about, too. Gender tests were not a thing when my kids were born. I suspected they’d be boys based on my husband’s family. I hoped for a girl, but two boys is what I have. My oldest son was a Feb baby, so I took him home in a white onsey w/ red hearts on the knees. I see my son and his wife doing the traditional gender thing w/ their children, but my son does almost all the cooking in his family. I had both boys in the kitchen before they could walk. They played w/ pans, learned to cook, all the traditional girl things while still playing army and loving dinosaurs. Last Easter my grandson wore a peach-colored shirt w/ flowery shorts. It’s a beautiful boy outfit that still makes me smile.
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